overcoming judgement

I met a new friend recently. During the conversation, she was saying how she recognised that she often passed judgement on other people, before she had met them, based on the opinions of others. She was not sure if she should do that, but seemed to be stuck in that pattern. I wanted to explore that with her, but just could not find the words. Thinking about it now, I know why, and I also know what I would have said. Which is:

"It's very nice that you want to show loyalty to your friends by siding with them, but do you always know if your friends are right? The person that appears to be mean that you are judging - do you know what made them like that? Perhaps they had something really horrible happen to them in the past and their behaviour now is a defense mechanism. Or a cry for help -'I'm in pain'. Who are we to judge another anyway? Has our own behaviour been exemplary? Imagine if we were slower to judge others and quicker to show kindness and compassion, what a world this could be!
We can choose to distance ourselves from mean people, and if we have to be in their presence, we can choose to shine our own light so that we are less affected by any darkness they may emit. I am not saying we should ignore or accept behaviour that we find uncomfortable. We need to define our own limits in those cases by clearly and calmly expressing what we will not tolerate. But in situations where we do not even know someone and we start judging them without having all of the facts, perhaps we could refrain from judgement and maintain and open heart and an open mind."

I figured out the reason that I was not able to express this to the new friend....it was because I had not fully learned this myself.